Hogwild Grogfish Amuses Patrons of The Full Moon

After viewing six straight hours of the X-Files marathon on Thanksgiving Day, Mr Chris Windram and his fly rod were mysteriously abducted by a benevolent, though mischievous race of Alien Beings from the nearby Alpha Centauri system. The Alpha Centauri alien culture is unique, in that fly fishing represents their sole form of outdoor recreation. Mr. Windram was invited to join the Alpha Centauri Pro Counsel in an excursion to nearby Crater Lake, on the system's seventeenth planet. Here he is pictured with a Grogfish, a creature which is renowned for creeping out of the water on cool, wet evenings in a vain and comical attempt to frighten small alien children. Following the invariable failure of this effort, the Grogfish then dejectedly appears at local barrooms to beg for Shugdug, a powerful version of alien beer brewed from Lotus flowers. Great mirth ensues as the barkeep and customers ply the Grogfish with tasty alcoholic beverages until it is too weak to remain upright on the bar. Nothing on earth rivals the sight of a fully intoxicated Grogfish waddling back to the water at three o'clock in the morning. Croaking and squawking incoherently, the fish must frequently be escorted back to its home pool by the proper authorities. This particular Grogfish showed up three nights in a row at The Full Moon, a popular watering hole which straddles the Crater River. After being turned back at the door by the innkeeper due to insolent behavior, the Grogfish reluctantly agreed to a wrestling match with the happily abducted Mr. Windram during a fly fishing contest known as the Alpha Centauri Hogwild Flyrod Festival. According to the rules of the tournament, the loser would be required to balance naked on one foot or fin, on the top of a slippery rock in midstream, for two hours (approximately twenty-three earth days). Since this is no mean feat for man, alien, or fish, the contest invariably ends up with all parties concerned back at the bar at the close of the tournament, as it did in this instance.

That is all.

Editors Note: After attempting to check our facts on this story, we were assured by Mr. Windram's girlfriend that he simply had a bad dream after falling asleep following a rather large and enjoyable turkey dinner. However, Mr. Windram's reputation for honesty and complete objectivity is considered impeccable, so the story will stand.